Revision

OK. I have just seen two commercials that just made me laugh for all the wrong reasons. The first one began thus…

Man: I have genital herpes.

Woman: And I don’t.

Man: And we’re trying to keep it that way.

[cue voice over in which a trustworthy voice tells everyone all about this wonderful drug that can prevent breakouts and transference or whatever then…]

Man: I still have genital herpes.

Woman: And I still don’t.

***

Me: Well good for you!

Now, what I really want to know is how much they have to pay you to go on television and declare “I still have genital herpes.” It just makes me laugh to imagine the casting calls. “Wanted: Good looking man to portray guy with herpes.” Or the negotiations. If I was the actor, I’d be like, “if I am going on TV and telling everyone I have herpes, you better be paying me damn well.”

***

The other commercial was for this ridiculous little item called “The Fish Pen.” It’s for those times when you “just don’t have time for bulky equipment.” And, did you know, with the Fish Pen, you can go fishing on your lunch hour! Wow!

***

So, really, this is my warning against watching ESPN Classic. I’m watching Game 6 of the 1993 NBA Finals: Chicago vs. Phoenix, and apparently these are the only advertisers interested in sponsoring old basketball games.

On the plus side, NBC still had the NBA back in the early 90s, so I get to hear one of my all-time favorite TV theme songs “Roundball Rock,” which was the NBA on NBC’s theme song. Perhaps you remember it? duh duh duh, da duh da duh, etc…

Fun fact No. 1: “Roundball Rock” was written by John Tesh. Yes, that John Tesh.

Fun fact No. 2: Kelly and I were on the same flight as John Tesh and his wife, Connie Sellecca. We were going from LAX to IAH and they sat in coach and ate Big Macs. OK. So, perhaps, that wasn’t a very fun fact. Oh well!