Revision

I think I may have had a breakthrough. Today as I was driving Annabelle home from swim lessons (see the “Today I” section of this blog for more!), I found myself thinking about the future and seeing possibilities. It has been a long time since I was able to be hopeful without any negativity. That sounds worse than I think I mean it to, or maybe it just was that bad. I am not sure. But for the first time in a long time I thought about how I wanted to go back to school and how I was going to do it and got excited about it. Not once did I think as I have been for so long: “How will I ever do it?” “My photos suck anyway.” “There is no way I can do it.” “Who will watch Annabelle?” “What’s the point?” It was like, suddenly, things were possible again.

It was a moment. A little one, but a moment of hope nonetheless.

So I just have to keep going. But, for the first time in — wow — years, maybe, I actually feel like it might be possible to vanquish depression. And that, in and of itself, is progress.