I have a few, but for some reason Carly Simon's "You're So Vain," makes me laugh and giddy and feel like dancing and singing. I did it yesterday when I heard the song in Walgreen's with Annabelle.
How many people in your life could this chorus describe? Ha ha!
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you Don't you? Don't You?
Anyway, I feel the same way about David Lee Roth's "Yankee Rose." It just makes me want to go back to gymnastics or cheer at that pep rally. LOL. Reminds me of good times in my life.
What songs make you want to sing and dance in public? (Whether you actually do it is irrelevant.)
Today as we were driving this song came on and Anna said, "I like this song -- who sings this song?" It was funny. She's in question mode 24/7. Anyway, here's her cute recommendation: "Fireflies" by Owl City.
Sample lyric (I approve of the whimsical quality here):
'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head A sock hop beneath my bed A disco ball is just hanging by a thread
Cute no?
In other news, happy birthday to Gavin and to my friend Ray -- a Valentine's Day baby. Also to sis-in-law, Cathy (missed by a few days -- I'm not back in the blogging groove) and other sis-in-law, Leigh Ayn (early by a few). Then there's Cari. A good friend from college whom I don't see much anymore. Still think of her on her birthday though and wish her well.
Sometimes you hear a song at just the right time. Today was one of those times. May I recommend "Wonderful" by Gary Go.
The person that you were has died You've lost the sparkle in your eyes You fell for life -- into its traps Now you wanna bridge the gaps Now you want that person back
And all your ammunition's gone Run out of fuel to carry on You don't know what you wanna do Cause what you want does not want you If what you want does not want you And you've got no pull to pull you through
Say: "I am." Say: "I am." Say: "I am wonderful."
If what you've lost cannot be found And the weight of the world weighs you down No longer with the will to fly You stop to let it pass you by Don't stop to let it pass you by You've gotta look yourself in the eye
Say: "I am." Say: "I am." Say: "I am wonderful."
Cause we are all miracles wrapped up in chemicals We are incredible Don't take it for granted, no We are all miracles Oh we are.
I haven't felt much like chatting lately. Not that I am ever chatting, it's just me posting. Or, sometimes, Andy. I feel somewhat glum.
But Annabelle did tell me she liked a song today, so I thought I would share her music choice of the day with you: "Forever Young" by Alphaville. Random happenstance that we heard that song today and she told me, "I like this music." So here ya go. Old school alternative or something like that. And weird video.
New pix online. If you have a Flickr account be sure to sign in. I am not sharing all of my pictures with the masses, so you will miss some if you don't. Ask me if you have issues getting a flickr account. You shouldn't. It's free and easy. But if you do, let us know.
And last night I thought Mya on "Dancing With the Stars" was awesome. Kelly Osbourne is my favorite, but she isn't the best.
Annabelle went to her first Major League Baseball game today. It was a whirlwind of purple cotton candy, popcorn, free hot dogs (it was free 'dog day for kids today), a little bit of baseball, the 7th inning stretch to "Deep in the Heart of Texas" (!), and, of course, humidity and heat. (The latter has been merciless this summer.) We were there for three or four innings only, as she got restless and tired and needed her nap. Overall, it was fun.
I've decided we need to be the People Who Do Things. I struggle with depression, but I think it's better to struggle with it while being out doing something. I always hesitate to mention depression here because people inevitably ask, "Why are you depressed?"
Anyone who has ever experienced real depression knows it doesn't work that way. It's not some outside issue -- like I hate my job or whatever. It's very similar to humidity, it just surrounds you and suffocates you. You don't want to feel that way, but you do.
The hardest thing about depression is that even when you want to be the Person Who Does Things, depression is conspiring against you. It wants you not to do things. That's the hardest part for me. But anyway ...
I often think everyone is given some issue or issues that they have to battle throughout their lives. I think this is one of mine, unfortunately. BUT, that's not the point of this post -- or it wasn't intended to be.
Baseball! We had fun. It's a long way to drive for just a few innings, but it was good to be out and doing things.
*
Anna spent some time with her cousins -- J- and C- -- this weekend. She really has fun with other kids. I think it is time for me to look into a program like Mother's Day Out (how antiquated is that title anyway?). She needs to be around other kids and I need to meet other moms (or, let's say, parents).
OK. That's about it.
Oh yes, Annabelle's two favorite songs of the week: "Caribbean Amphibian" by Jimmy Buffet and Kermit the Frog; and, as reported last week, "Flawless" by George Michael (!).
She really likes the chill songs -- artists like the Beach Boys (see Sloop John B.) and, yes, Jimmy Buffet. She also loves dance music! It's pretty amazing to see her personal tastes in music emerging. As an aside, I love this song, "Fire Burning on the Dancefloor." It makes me (kind of) miss the dance club days! ;-)
Lots of stuff on my mind and I am not sure how this will turn out, hence the title.
I am in Texas right now. Andre left to go back to Atlanta today and I feel sad. There is no way to explain it, really. Andre and I have been together for so long, it's like I am off balance when he isn't there. It's so cliche, but he's my other half. The PB&J on my bread. My best friend. It makes me sad when we can't be together, even if it is just for a week. Or a day.
His leaving has only compounded the overwhelming sense of depression I've felt lately. I can't put my finger on the reason. I couldn't tell you "why." It's no one thing. I am just feeling really bummed out lately. Kind of hopeless.
Now, don't go getting all worried. I feel like this often, I just don't often write about it. But I have been repeatedly told (and have, on occasion, asserted it myself) that getting things out of your head and on paper (or in cyberspace, as the case may be) can help.
I don't know if it's being back in the place where I once had so much fun. Or missing Andy. Or feeling hot and bloated (thank you Houston humidity for both). Or just being in a general funk.
I look at Annabelle sometimes and think about all the cute things she does. For example, she gives me a big smile every time she sees me. I was rocking her tonight thinking about how happy it makes me to see her smile. Then, in a split second, I was deeply saddened -- almost to the point of despair -- thinking that it won't always be this way. That she won't always smile when she sees me. That someday she will hate me -- like all teens at some point hate their parents. That her sweet smile and bright eyes will be dimmed by the cruelty of this world. It makes me so depressed sometimes I can't stand it.
I don't want her to battle depression like Kelly and I have. I don't want her to know the ugliness, the racism, the look-ism, the greedy, money-hungry awfulness of this world. But she will know it.
That makes me sad.
My Dad's best friend Jerry (RIP) suffered from clinical depression his entire life. He eventually ended his life. I remember how upset my Dad was when he found out. How devastated. And I remember being very angry. Angry that someone would be so selfish and off themselves like that, leaving all their loved ones to suffer. At the time I was a happy, stupid, naive college student and I said some things about people with depression that I now regret.
I used to think depressed people should just get over it. I used to think, "what's their problem?" And boldly state that they should "suck it up and deal."
Then, for whatever reason, I started having issues with depression. I understand now.
Sometimes I think God gave me this burden of depression to wise me up. To show me that I was an idiot kid who had no idea what she was talking about. I know I can't think that way, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I ask "why? Why can't I just flip a switch in my head and get over it? This is stupid!"
I was so naive. Is this my punishment for all the idiotic things I've spouted off about over the years?
I've come to the conclusion that there is no way for a person to comprehend mental illness unless you've gone through it. Because society does not equate depression, for example, to being a medical condition. There is still that stigma attached to it. As if going to therapy is a bad thing. Or something to feel ashamed of.
That feeling is very palpable. I feel it right now. Like I should just hit the "Delete" key and forget I ever wrote this. But, damn it, I am not going to for that very reason. I am not editing. I am not going to let myself feel worse than I already do by imagining what you, my dear reader, must be thinking about me.
If you love me, you will love the depressed me too. If you hate me, you hate me. But, at least you'll hate the real, honest me. Not some "me" that I conjured up for your approval.
A Post Script: Happy Songs See, I told you I needed your list of happy songs. Seriously, I plan to add them all to my iPod. So thanks to Mimi, LeeLee, Kelly, Lila, Kerber, Nana Jan, Andre, Jennifer (of Roswell!) and, of course, the lovely and talented cousin Penny from Ottawa, for all of your suggestions. Have more? Want to add yours? Please, please do...
We all want to be happy ... right? Well, I am of the belief that music can sometimes drag you out of the abyss of a bad mood. So, what I am asking you to do is this ... My kind, gentle, loyal readers: please post a comment with your happy music. It could be one song. It could be a whole bunch of them. I don't care. I am looking for new happy songs for my iPod's "Happy Music" list.
I know, for example, Mimi loves Elvis. And I am certain at least one of his songs puts a smile on her face. I'd like to know what that is. Kerber always has a ton of songs and great ideas. Kelly has already given me two discs worth of stuff. Jason, if you're out there, perhaps you have some. Leigh Ayn? Aunt Vicky? Penny? Andre? Carlo? Roma? Nana Jan? Gigi? And...
Ye, who have not been named. Step up to the plate and post your songs.
Here is my "Happy Music" list in the order they appear on my iPod:
"Allegria," The Gipsy Kings
"More than a Feelin'," Boston
"Got to Be Real," Cheryl Lynn
"Dragostea Din Tei," O-Zone (yes, that song)
"Give a Little Bit," The Goo Goo Dolls
"Green-tinted Sixties Mind," Mister Big
"I Melt With You," Modern English
"Let's Groove," Earth, Wind and Fire
"When It's Over," Sugar Ray
"The Crush of Love," Joe Satriani
"Dancing Queen," Abba
"Let's Get It On," Marvin Gaye
"The Breakaway," The Zambonis
"Strip and Go Naked," Alex Lifeson
"Amber," 311
"Slide," The Goo Goo Dolls
"Friends in Low Places," Garth Brooks
"La Copa de la Vida," Ricky Martin (oh be quiet!)
"Hockey Monkey," The Zambonis
"Mr. Brightside," The Killers
"Prime Mover," Rush
"Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's
"I Wanna Drive the Zamboni," The Zambonis
Come on now! I've shared my list. Post yours -- or just one song. I don't care if it's Richard Marx, if it makes you happy, use the little comment link below and tell me about it...
Nobody else wants to share their songs? I'm so disappointed. :-(
I have a playlist on my iPod called, "Happy Songs." I am going to post that sometime this week. I am always looking for more happy songs, so, please (please?) comment with yours!
In other news, the rockin' Nana and Poppy strike again! They sat with Annabelle tonight so Andre and I could go see The Bourne Ultimatum. I don't usually go for action flicks, but I love the Bourne series and I loved that movie. There were a couple of great nods to the first film, which I loved. And Bourne just has this supreme confidence that I envy. There was one line while they were tracking him in New York that had Andy and I laughing out loud and wanting to scream, "Bourne, you cocky bastard!" We loved it.
Also, that Moby song that they use for the closing credits? It kills. I love it too.
Thanks to Nana and Poppy for watching the fabulous A.E.B. for us.
You know those songs that somehow just move you: Make you happy? Sad? Take you back to a place and time? To a person you'll never forget? To a moment you'll never forget?
There are so many.
I am feeling a little nostalgic tonight, but not because the song I am loving so much right now takes me back. Rather it's one of those rare songs that feels old. That feels nostalgic, even though it is brand new.
No, it's not a Rush song. In fact, for the record, I think their new album is kind of boring.
I am interested in the songs that take you back. Propel you forward. Give you hope when you're down. Pump you up (I am thinking of you Jen, when I make this solicitation -- you and your Joan Jett!). Please comment with your songs and what they make you think of, etc. I really want to know!
Not sure how to comment? Just click the "comment" link below. Then "post a comment." You don't have to login. You'll see an option that says, "choose an identity." You can login if you happen to have a Google account. If not, you can log in anonymously.
Annabelle went to her first Major League Baseball game today. It was a whirlwind of purple cotton candy, popcorn, free hot dogs (it was free 'dog day for kids today), a little bit of baseball, the 7th inning stretch to "Deep in the Heart of Texas" (!), and, of course, humidity and heat. (The latter has been merciless this summer.) We were there for three or four innings only, as she got restless and tired and needed her nap. Overall, it was fun.
